The Broken Fairytale
by letthestarsfall
Summary: "How do you tell someone something like this?" Ruth's got a secret but will it stay secret for long? - RuthxJay Part 3/3 - Sequel to Trials of the Heart!  The last part of the triology!
1. The Secrets We Keep

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 1 - The Secrets We Keep. **

How do you tell someone something like this? Ruth wondered feeling frustrated. It had been three months and every time she saw Jay it was like her lips had been glued shut. The secret was just too big to share.

It had been a accident. She honestly hadn't meant to forget the pills. She really hadn't meant to get drunk and then fall into bed with her husband. At least that was a bonus, it had actually been her husband, not like some of the patients she had treated with their dramatic affairs resulting in little accidents like this one.

She lifted her top nervously, her new morning routine, she ran her fingers across her lower abdomen which was now much more rounded than it had ever been. She had always had a flat stomach, probably due to the fact her parents hadn't exactly fed her well. She had always been underweight and really quite skinny something that hadn't really changed as she grew up, hunger was something she was used to. But now her naturally skinny frame was making the new bump so much more obvious. How much longer could she keep the secret before someone figured it out?

She had honestly intended to tell him the second she had decided what she was going to do but there was only problem with that logic. She couldn't decide. She was torn in two. Keep or get rid? The baby or her career? If she had the baby her career would have to wait, her career had always been so important to her and the baby… the baby was an accident a silly little slip caused by a little too much vodka and some forgotten pills. It was just an extra piece of flesh growing inside of her. But then the longer the baby remained inside her the more she found herself starting to think of it as a separate being. The more she found herself starting at baby clothes, buying them and hoarding them away.

Biting her lip she dropped the loose fitting t-shirt back down and sighed. She may have not decided on what the outcome would be, but she needed to tell him and soon. Maybe he could help her decide? If she took much longer to choose an abortion, especially a secret abortion was definitely going to be off the cards. But how was she going to tell him? She laughed slightly to herself. She could tell him about her past and about being abused in such great detail it brought him to tears but no matter how hard she tried couldn't utter those two simple words.

I'm pregnant.


	2. Dawning Realizations

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 2 - Dawning Realizations. **

Jay was frustrated. He had never been so frustrated about something in his entire life. He had a beautiful wife who he loved to pieces, they had a lovely cosy king sized bed and they had privacy in the form of a lock on their door yet she still seemed to find every excuse in the book to not engage in any more action than a kiss. He was absolutely dying over here. He had never gone three months without a hint of action. It was some sort of miracle that he hadn't expired or exploded!

His frustration was only matched by his confusion. Ruth had changed a lot recently now that he thought of it not only had there been a distinct lack of physical closeness in their relationship but she was fast becoming more and more touchy. She had begun to snap at the stupidest of things. He had put it down to her being under quite bit of stress with work but he was beginning to wonder if there was something more sinister going on. She hadn't been this stressed since her last slip back into depression.

There was also the weird shopping habits. His totally fashion hating, shop abhorring wife had been shopping several times each time returning with something new, be it new clothes for herself which seemed to fit ridiculously loosely and not show of her figure or masses of cuddly toys and clothes for River.

He wasn't as stupid as he looked he had noticed the change in her eating habits too, she had never eaten so much. She had always seemed to not have a great need for food but her she was packing away platefuls bigger than his own. She had also gained a fair bit of weight, normally he wouldn't have noticed and he certainly didn't care but with her tiny frame it had been so obvious it was hard to miss.

Then there was also the throwing up. He had heard her retching over the toilet on more than one occasion recently. When he asked if she was ok she had said she was fine and gave him a look like he was crazy for being concerned. Like it was normal.

A jolt shot through his stomach as he began to add things up. He hoped she wasn't but could she be developing some sort of eating disorder? It was either that or she was..

Oh god.

It was like someone had just flicked on a light switch. When he finally put all the pieces together it all added up, he couldn't believe he had not realised sooner.

She was pregnant


	3. Lazy Mornings

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 3 - Lazy Mornings. **

Lazy mornings were Ruth's favourite. Her days of setting an alarm for six am everyday had ended long ago. She smiled at Jay who had just opened his own eyes but the concerned look he shot back made her feel uneasy. She sat up slightly ignoring it and propping her pillow up against the head board. She reached over and picked up a medical book from the bedside table deciding it was as good a time as any to do a little bit of research.

Jay had also sat up and was yawning. He climbed out of bed and stumbled tiredly to the bathroom. When he returned a serious expression had crossed his face, Ruth didn't notice, she was too busy reading about placental abruption to realise that he had was now sat next to her watching her thoughtfully. She didn't even blink an eye as he shuffled about under the covers nervously as he decided enough was enough.

She didn't notice anything unusual until there was a cold hand placed under Jay's old t-shirt which she had taken to sleeping in directly on the skin on her belly.

She jumped and dropped the book which slid to the floor.

"Jay!" She looked vaguely offended thinking he was about to try his luck once more. He was such a sex obsessed idiot at times.

"Are you sure there's not something your forgetting to tell me?" He asked gently looking her directly in the eye as he ran his fingers across her belly, ever since he had began to have his suspicions he had hoped Ruth would finally get over her nerves and tell him herself. After three days his curiosity had finally gotten the better of him.

Ruth blushed.

"Ruth?" He asked "Do you want to tell me or should I guess…" he stated simply.

"I'm sorry…" She looked down

"Sorry!" He laughed "this is brilliant!"

She looked down at her now exposed bloated looking belly and put her hand over Jay's. She half smiled and half grimaced.

"You don't look to happy about it.." Jay suddenly realised as his eyes scanned his face.

"Its a lot to take in. My career…" she muttered.

"Please don't tell me…" Jay pulled his hand away knowing what she was considering "Ruth you cant…"

"I don't think I can do this! I am not good enough to bring up a child Jay. We both know it." She looked ashamed

"I'll be here. Oh Ruth come on this is amazing news! You career will fit around it I promise you Adam wont let you go, you're the clinical leads pet!" Jay was almost bouncing "Bloody hell I'm going to be a dad!"

Ruth's scared look vanished as she beamed

"We're really going to do this?" She asked

"Oh yes." Jay kissed her forehead "Its about time you had a proper family just like you've always wanted."

"I didn't mean with me as the Mum.." Ruth looked nothing less than petrified.

"Oh you know you do a brilliant Job with River." Jay reassured her

"But River's nine…" Ruth pointed out

"And she isn't related to you at all, you have no official commitment to her." Jay pointed out "Yet you act as if you were her mother or big sister."

"I'm so scared…" Ruth admitted as Jay entwined his fingers with hers

"Don't be." He reassured her. "I'm here."


	4. Good News Spreads Fast

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 4 - Good News Spreads Fast **

"No!" Ruth sounded horrified as Jay passed her the plate of baked beans on toast she had requested. Ruth had taken River to school and Ellie was still away at university so they had their joint day off to themselves for a change.

"Ruth you can't just keep working and pretending its not happening, if you don't warn them now they will begin to realise soon anyway! I am not having you put yourself or the kid in danger!" he told her totally objecting to her idea of keeping the baby a secret for as long as possible.  
>"But Its not pro…" She started<p>

"Ruth if your keeping the baby, the last thing your going to be for the next year is professional. For a start its going to be pretty obvious what going on when you start to look like you swallowed a beach ball! What are you expecting? To be able to make the bump appear invisible and work as usual until your waters break in the middle of resus so that you can yell 'surprise'?" Jay rolled his eyes

"No of course not! Ruth blushed

"Or are you having doubts again?" He looked worried

"No." Her voice cracked slightly "Well sort of but no. I want the baby. One hundred percent. I'm just so scared of what people will say…"

"Oh Ruth they will think that you are completing our family, that you are in love! Its perfectly normal." Jay sighed "Anyway If they don't they should get lost or their faces will be meeting with my fist!"

Ruth hid her smile. He was so sweet, she knew he'd stick up for her whenever or wherever. She sometimes wondered why she worried so much, with a husband like Jay to protect and love her she didn't need anything or anyone else.

For the first time ever Ruth did not want to go to work. She felt like a naughty teenage school girl who had managed to get herself pregnant on a one night stand on the park on the estate, not a twenty seven year old married woman who had a husband. It felt so taboo in her mind but it wasn't really at all, she was happily married and already had a sort of family of her own. This child could be the missing piece of the puzzle.

So why did she feel so nervous about telling Adam? Why did she have that sinking feeling in her stomach telling her that this wasn't such a good thing? She had never felt so ripped apart.

It was like the new side of her personality which had developed more recently was beginning to clash with the old Ruth, what she still considered to be the real Ruth. She was a bitch not a nice person. Wasn't she? That's what her Dad had always said, part of her knew a lot of what he said was lies but the other part still believed there must be a grain on truth in every sentence and every harsh comment.

As she stepped into the Emergency department she was still in a bit of a daze and walked right into a frustrated looking Adam who was reading a patients notes. Jay was immediately checking she was ok in a very over concerned way causing Adam to raise an eyebrow.

Ruth turned bright red and made to walk off whilst apologising profusely for her clumsiness but Jay obviously had other plans, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Could we have a word please?" he asked Adam as Ruth covered her eyes with her hand a look of pure embarrassment on her face.

"Um Sure?" Adam nodded "What word might that be?"

"In private." Jay asked rolling his eyes as Ruth elbowed him hard in the side

"Sure." Adam nodded once more and lead them towards his office "She's got you whipped."

"I have not!" Ruth scowled at the comment

The entered his office, Ruth still glaring at Jay, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment

"So..?" Adam asked tapping his foot on the floor slightly, Ruth could tell he was obviously having a busy morning.

"Ruth's got something to tell you." Jay said poking Ruth who look horrified at the though of uttering the two words.

"I'm Pregnant." She mumbled inaudibly

"Ruth?" Adam asked looking at his colleague

"I'm pregnant." She repeated a bit louder, her cheeks now crimson and her eyes firmly fixed on the tip of her toes.

Jay was beaming like a Cheshire cat.

"Oh congratulations!" Adam smiled "that's great news!"

"Thanks." Ruth mumbled looking up into his eyes to see how genuine he was being.

"Come back when your shift finishes and we'll sort everything out ok?" Adam said cheerfully

"You wont… get rid of me for being pregnant.. Because…" Ruth started to panic a little

"Of course not, you can take maternity leave and come back when your ready." Adam smiled

Jay nudged Ruth as if to say 'told you it'd be ok' and she smiled a little

"Congratulations, I'm sure you'll both make brilliant parents." Adam smiled "I must get back to work, take five minutes before you start if you want." he added wisely hinting that Jay should give her a bit of a pep talk as he spotted the awkward way Ruth was behaving.

He slipped out of the office leaving them behind.

"See I told you, its not a bad thing is it?" Jay said with a wink

"No." Ruth nodded slightly looking a bit nervous still "But the others…"

"Will react in the same way. Oh Ruth you are such a worrier." Jay chuckled slightly

"I am not!" Ruth said folding her arms defensively

He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek.

"Oh you are, that's why you snap at everyone because your scared they'll realise how worried you really are." He said wisely

"You read me like a book." Ruth sighed "I am so damn scared."

"Me too." Jay admitted "But I'm also extremely excited!"

"Your not scared!" Ruth said looking shocked "honestly?"

"Honestly! I'm petrified really!" Jay confessed blushing a bit "But I have a feeling it'll all be ok in the end."

"Why?" Ruth asked

"Just because." Jay shrugged

"Well I hope your feeling is right." Ruth stated simply before turning around so they were face to face. "But right now work calls."

She stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips before scuttling out of the office to go put her scrubs on, Jay shook his head deciding she was always going to be a bit of a workaholic.

-

The spring in Jay's step didn't go unnoticed for long and his mouth didn't stay shut either. Three hours into the shift half the department knew about the good news.

When Jay bumped into Ruth in resus he immediately knew someone had congratulated her by the 'you are dead' glare she was giving him as they worked on the patient.

"I'm going to buy you a tube of superglue."

Jay looked up

"Beg your pardon?" He asked as he checked the patients drip

"I'm going to buy you a tube of superglue." She stated once more "Because there seems to be no other plausible way of keeping your mouth shut about anything."

She was half glaring and half grinning at him.

"Apparently Jessica is going to supply me with some baby clothes that she has boxed up in her cupboard and Big Mac would like to know if he can be god father."

Jay snorted.

"The baby must only be about this big!" She gestured with her fingers and Jay suddenly realised she must have spent a fair bit of time reading pregnancy books as she correctly estimated the size of their three month old baby. "Its now got a full wardrobe and is apparently going to be christened."

"Ah never hurts to be over prepared!" Jay winked

"How many people did you tell?" Ruth sighed

"Erm…" Jay blushed "Well they asked what was up…"

Ruth walked over and slapped him around the head playfully.

"Ouch!"

"Good job I'm in a good mood Nurse Faldren or you'd be screwed."

She tossed her hair and headed out of Resus.

Secretly she was beginning to feel proud of the thing growing inside her but she wasn't going to let Jay know that she had liked the compliments, congratulations and friendly banter that she had never really managed to enjoy with her colleagues before.

Even though she had become a lot more friendly with them since she began going out with Jay their conversations had always been limited and brief, she'd have never though of any of them as friends as such but now she felt more welcome than she had ever done before.

She stepped out of the department and looked up at the bright blue sky as she settled herself on a bench resting a hand on her slightly swollen abdomen.

"Your going to be good for me little one." She said aloud.

A stupidly huge grin spread across her face. It was the first time she had talked to her child and it felt so much more real and so amazing it was untrue.


	5. Think Positive

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 5 – Think Positive **

Ruth hadn't known what to expect when they sat River down to explain about the new arrival a week later.

Would River feel abandoned, unloved, put out, sad, angry?

Or would she be happy, excited, looking forward to a new member to their little family?

She didn't need to worry.

River was so excited she had jumped from the sofa and immediately launched herself at Ruth's belly where her little hands fumbled with the material of her loose fitting t-shirt as she scrabbled to touch Ruth's now distinctly round belly.

"I can't wait!" She squealed "I get to be a big sister!"

"And an aunt!" Jay pointed out

"I'm not forty!" she rolled her little eyes "I will be baby's big sister wont I mum?"

"If that's what you want to be that's what you will be." Ruth smiled as she regained herself from the shock of having the little girls cold hands pressed against her skin. She was still not much of a fan of being touched, especially such an intimate touch, She felt comfortable most of the time with Jay but even then she would sometimes flinch or freeze up when his hand pressed against her skin or clothing.

"Girl or Boy?" River wondered aloud.

"Oh a Boy definitely! This family needs less girls not more!" Jay blurted out immediately

"I want a little sister!" River announced

"I just want the baby to be healthy." Ruth said thoughtfully "I don't care if it's a girl or a boy I will love it either way."

"Everything will be fine Ruth." Jay reassured her as River traced a small circle on Ruth's belly with her finger.

"First time pregnancy's can have high rate of…" Ruth began to blurt out her fears

"Shut it with the medical talk!" Jay laughed pressing his hands over his ears "We aren't at work!"

"When will SHE be here?" River said emphasising the word she knowing it would annoy Jay

"HE is due in just under six months." Jay told her emphasising the word he as Ruth rolled her eyes.

"Stop bickering, Why don't you go and help River with her homework while I cook tea?" Ruth suggested

"Yes Mum." Jay saluted her "Come on trouble lets get your work done before she locks us in the garden again."

"Ok" River giggled

Ruth sighed as Jay picked up the giggling girl and carried her upstairs. She looked down at her belly and placed her hand where River's had been. She hadn't though which she wanted, all she wanted was a healthy baby, it was all that mattered to her. Maybe it was because her bedtime reading for the past week had been medial textbooks about traumatic pregnancy's and pregnancy's that had gone wrong. She knew all the risks a little too well and being the cynical person she was she was focusing on each and every one. She shook her head.

"Think Positive you idiot." She told herself angrily.

She stepped towards the door and shuffled through to the kitchen her slippers slapping against the floor in a rather comforting way as she rubbed her belly and looked down.

"Come on little one lets get tea sorted, you dad is like a dustbin!" She smiled to herself as she chatted quietly to the little bump.

-

A week passed in a blur of work, homework help and baby talk.

Jay was suddenly starting to develop a liking for taking care of Ruth. Ruth found this very irritating but it could also be useful as when she returned with a plastic bag from mother care stuffed up her top.

She yelled a hello and headed straight through to the dining room.

Looking around herself guiltily she produced the bag and placed it down on top of one of the cupboards. She clicked the lock open and things poured out, anything and everything baby related poured from the cupboard. Ruth swore and started shoving it all back in haphazardly finally she launched the new bag in and began trying to shut it.

"Have we got any more pasta?" Jay yelled through to Ruth who was still fiddling with a cupboard which didn't want to shut.

"In the dresser!" Ruth replied before realising the dresser was in the same room as her "Damn!" she mumbled pushing the cupboard harder as the footsteps approached.

She whirled around as he entered pressing her legs up against the bulging cupboard door.

Jay walked straight over to the dresser and pulled out the new bag of pasta he turned around ready to go back through to the kitchen and noticed how awkwardly Ruth was standing up against the cupboard.

"What's that?" Jay asked narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing!" Ruth protested blushing madly as she tried to hide the cupboard.

"What are you hiding?" Jay said stepping forwards and putting the pasta on the table.

"Nothing!" Ruth blushed.

"Then step away from the cupboard!" Jay said simply

Ruth sighed and did as she was told. The cupboard burst open. Jay was suddenly in hysterics as several baby grows, bottles, teddy bears, blankets and nappies fell out of the cupboard and onto the floor.

"You are like a magpie only a very insane baby obsessed one." He spluttered

She blushed this was so not like her she was thoroughly embarrassed but she just couldn't help herself.

"Getting broody?" he asked between snorts. "Its cute." he commented as he saw how embarrassed she was getting. "Come here you idiot!" he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

He suddenly had a bit of an idea of a way he could surprise Ruth. He smiled slightly to himself as a plan formulated in his mind. It would have to wait until next week when he had a day off and she was working but boy would she love it.

-

Jay sipped his beer thoughtfully. It really wasn't the same being out without Ruth. But someone had to look after River and Ruth was more than happy to have a quiet night in with her textbooks and, although she kept insisting otherwise, her baby books. She downed the last dregs of beer and stepped off his stool licking his lips.

"I'm off, best not leave the Mrs home alone to long." He announced to Jeff

"You ain't going to be leaving that house much at all for the next six years so make the most of it whilst you can!" Jeff laughed clapping Jay on the back "Trust me mate she'll have you whipped."

"Ah well." Jay laughed "I'm sure I'll escape sometimes!"

"Don't count on it!" Jeff told Jay wisely "They get you doing the nappies and the bath times and next thing you know you're completely sober and haven't seen day light in a month!"

"Either way, I don't want River running her ragged." he told Jeff "Sorry mate, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Enjoy." Jeff winked

Jay laughed slightly and headed out of the bar following the familiar route across the edge of the estate.

He shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets looking forward to seeing his girls. He knew he should enjoy his free time like Jeff had pointed out but Jay loved being around Ruth and River, they were special to him. She smield as a picture of Ruth floated through his mind as he took the short cut down the alley next to the park.

He was lost in his thoughts when a noise distracted him.

A rustling.

He spun around but couldn't see anyone so he quickened his pace.

Suddenly a different sound had him whirling around one more.

"Jamshid."

It was like a hiss. Jay wouldn't have heard it if the alley hadn't been so quiet.

He stopped and whirled around nervously looking about for the person who had uttered his name wondering for a second if it had been his imagination. Only three people ever called him Jamshid. His Nan, Ruth when she was angry and his mother.

"Help me."

That was a definite voice.

He squinted trying to see through the darkness.

"Jamshid."

A bony hand grabbed his shoulder and his eyes widened as he whirled around.


	6. Confrontations and Creativeness

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 6 - Confrontations and Creativeness **

"Jamshid!"

"Mother." Jay said harshly as his eyes fell on her.

She looked vaguely like a corpse. Skinny, hollow cheeked and sunken eyed. She hadn't been this skeletal last time he had seen her, though that was seven years ago and a lot can change in seven years. Her tangled hair and smeared make up mad him feel a pang of worry before he remembered how the woman had ditched little River on the doorstep with nothing but a note to his Nan, how she had chose drugs over her own kids and how she had tried to steal River when she was only two and use her as bait to force his Nan to give her drug money.

"What do you want?" He spat it out so viciously it surprised himself but he didn't want to give her any sympathy unless she proved herself worthy. She was a sly woman and the speckled flesh of her elbow joints that he could see highlighted by the light creeping over from the street lights suggested she was still as hooked as ever on the drugs.

"I watched you." she murmured "I see you in the pub. I need you. I need money, I have no food, no house…"

"Bull####."

"What?" She looked gob smacked

"Well if you can afford to do that junk." He pulled her arm over to his chest and ran a finger over the old and new needle marks. "You can afford food and a roof over your head, you just wont stop."

"Arrogant little so and so!" She sneered "I suppose my darling mother wont let you anywhere near me even to help me! I need help!"

"Your mother is dead." Jay told her harshly "I will never help someone who wont help themselves. I'm sorry but go crawl back in the hole you came from because you wont get anything from me."

He turned and walked off leaving her shocked.

"Please Jamshid, I can't do this anymore! I really cant! I don't like it! I'll stop!" She yelled "For her! For you! For the girls!"

"Don't lie." He shot back over his shoulder

"I will!" she yelled "Please come back!"

"I'll believe it when I see it." Jay said simply beginning to jog to get away as fast as possible. His heart was pounding in his mouth. He reached the end of the road and stopped. A wave of sickness flooded him and he lent down retching.

He had never wanted to see her again. He was disgusted that he came from such a horrifically self centred cow. He threw up. Feeling dirty, disgusting, shaky and scared by the fact she had found him.

He punched the nearest thing. It happened to be a wall.

"Pull yourself together Jay." He yelled at himself. "God damn it."

He knew what she was like, popping up every few years, trying to get them to give her money or a roof over her head.

Sighing her rubbed his now bleeding knuckles frustrated.

Pulling himself together he hid his hand in his pocket and wandered down the street to the familiar house. It seemed a lot darker than usual. Everything did. It felt like she had flicked an on switch and the memories were now playing on a loop in his mind.

He couldn't let Ruth know something was up. He had to protect her from that woman. He had to protect all of them.

He put on a fake smile, locking the anger and frustration away before he slipped into the house.

-

Jay was rather proud of himself.

It was four days since the chance encounter with his mother. Who had seemed to have vanished back into the estate like she usually did. Ruth had been concerned by the damage to his knuckles when he accidentally let her see them. Luckily she swallowed the story involving falling over and being too embarrassed to admit it.

Today had been Jay's day off, Ruth had been working the morning shift in the emergency department giving Jay enough time to put his plan into action.

He rubbed his hands together smiling at his work as he heard the lock click and Ruth shouting him.

"Jay? I'm home!" her voice echoed up the stairs.

"Come upstairs! I have a surprise for you!" He yelled back.

She appeared minutes later, looking tired and curious.

"Close you eyes." He grinned

"Why…" She looked confused

"Because." He laughed

She nervously let her eyelids flicker shut and he placed two painty hands over her eyes before directing her towards River's old bedroom and through the door he had closed too. He kicked it open with the ball of his foot and the released his hands.

"Surprise!" He grinned.

Rivers old pink walls had been replaced by a neutral cream colour. A beautiful pine wooden cot was placed where River's bed had once been and in the corner next to the window was a matching rocking chair. In the third corner laid a changing table and a chest of drawers was set under window. All the furniture was pine and matched the cot perfectly. On top of the chest of draws lay some of the baby related accessories like bottles and baby monitors which Ruth had been hoarding away. A multicoloured patchwork quilt embroidered with teddy bears was placed neatly in the crib and folded back perfectly matching curtains had been put up carefully over the window. A woollen blanket that Ruth recognised to be the one Jay's Nan had knitted for him as a baby was thrown over the rocking chair and a large pale brown teddy was settled on it.

Silent tears were pouring down Ruth's face, It was so simple but so perfect.

"Oh god what did I do!" Jay worried out loud spotting the tears trickling down her face

"Its so perfect." She flung her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder "So perfect."

"Good." Jay mumbled into her neck. "I'm going to make sure you and this kid have everything and anything you ever need or want."

Ruth looked un into his eyes seeing the sincerity.

"You mean absolutely everything to me Ruth and I never want you to forget that." He said simply

Ruth found the tears falling uncontrollably. This feeling was something she had never experienced before. Even when had had made promises to take care of her in the past. She guessed it could be her hormones or possibly the simple fact that she had never felt so out of control of her own body and mind. She didn't like to admit she was purely exhausted after doing a shift she would have usually have called rather easy.

"Its been a long day." She admitted warily

"That calls for hot chocolate and a movie!" Jay smiled slipping his hand into hers

"But…" Ruth protested

"No buts, your not revising, reading up or anything of the sort. You'll put your feet up and do as your told!" Jay laughed dragging her from the newly painted room and down to the living room where he gently forced her to sit down before vanishing from sight.

Ruth smiled to herself as she heard him whistling to himself as the tinny sound of the teaspoon clinking against the side of the mugs echoed through to where Ruth was sat.

"Hot Chocolate M'lady!" He smiled handing her the mug which she accepted gratefully. "And what movie would you like to see this fine afternoon?"

"Something that is appropriate for the nine year old who will be dropped off by her friends mother in the next half an hour?" Ruth suggested

"Aww damn.." Jay looked annoyed "Almost forgot…"

"How about something Disney?" Ruth suggested

"Shrek?" Jay asked

"Whatever." Ruth shrugged not really caring.

He slipped on the DVD and settled back down next to her. She placed her head on his shoulder as the titles began to role. Jays hand slipped across to rest on her swollen stomach and she smiled slightly as the familiar green face of Shrek flickered onto the screen. She had never felt safer.

Everything slowly became blurry and out of focus slipping into the dark.

The next thing Ruth was aware of was hushed voices.

She sat up stretching her arms yawning tiredly glancing around the familiar living room warily.

"Alright sleeping beauty?" Jay smiled from the floor as he noticed her stirring.

Apparently he had been helping River do her Maths homework, judging by the books and papers spread across the floor.

"How long have I been asleep?" Ruth asked ruffling her hair tiredly

"Forever and ever!" River laughed

"or in reality two hours." Jay smiled

"I must have been tired." She commented lightly "I'll make some tea…" She made to get up

"You don't have to I made us some pasta and you some sandwiches. They are in the microwave." He smiled "Here I'll…"

"I'm not an invalid Jay I will fetch them myself, you finish helping River with her homework." Ruth sighed stand up and stretching before placing a cold hand on her stomach.

"How's baby?" River asked excitedly

"Good." Ruth nodded as she did every time River questioned her "Making me nice and tired." She told the little girl.

"When will she start kicking?"

"The baby should start kicking in the beginning of the second trimester." Ruth answered text book like. "Sometime this month." She added quickly at River's lost expression.

"Can I feel it when she does?" River asked innocently

"Will you stop calling the baby a she!" Jay jumping in irritably "its going to be a he!"

"She!"

"He!"

Ruth rolled her eyes and laughed a little before stepping out of the room, leaving them to their argument.

She smiled as she opened the microwave and spotted her sandwiches which Jay had placed in a smiley face shape. With a little note saying simply 'Love you' She grinned as she shut the door and headed back through to the living room with her tea in hand.

Jay grinned up at her as she entered

"You have been very creative today." She laughed

"Oh yes!" He winked as she settled down on the floor next to River happy to be surrounded by her family.

Things couldn't be more perfect.


	7. Sisters, Scans and Little Kicks

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 7 - Sisters, Scans and Little Kicks **

Time seemed to have flown past and today was Ruth's twenty week scan.

Christmas had been and gone. The decorations had been put up and taken down. The family had been reunited as Ellie and Leila came home for the holidays. Both were overjoyed with the news of the impending arrival of their nephew or niece. Ellie especially.

Ruth sighed as she remembered the evening they had settled down in the living room to tell the girls who had just arrived back respectively from their university and new home.

"We have some news." Ruth told her nervously. As River bounced up and down excitedly desperately trying to keep herself from blurting out the good news before Ruth had chance.

"We're having a baby." Jay blurted out a huge grin crossing his face.

"Congratulations!" Leila smiled "That's really great news."

"I get to be a big sister not a little sister anymore!" River exclaimed excitedly

Ellie was quiet but Ruth could tell she was happy by the look on her face.

Jay stepped away from Ruth and announced he was going to get some tea ready for everyone, Ruth made a move to go help.

"You rest, I'll help with tea." Leila offered standing up and gesturing that Ruth should sit down.

"I'm helping too!" River said grabbing her big sisters arm excitedly and bouncing up and down excitedly.

They left the room so it was just Ellie and Ruth.

Silence fell.

"Scared?" Ellie asked simply

"Petrified." Ruth smiled lopsidedly "But more excited that I have been about anything in my entire life."

"I got a boyfriend." Ellie blurted out

"Really?" Ruth looked over at Ellie who was blushing.

"Yeah, he's really sweet." Ellie beamed "He's also very supportive and understanding…"

"Good." Ruth smiled simply "But if he ever treats you wrong…"

"Jay will strangle him with your stethoscope." Ellie laughed slightly "I already warned him I know how protective Jay is."

"I am proud of you." Ruth suddenly looked into Ellie's eyes "You're a very brave girl. I would be happy if my baby grew up to be anything like you."

"I'd be proud to grow up to be like you." Ellie responded

Ruth had been so touched by those few words it was untrue.

She never thought anyone would ever look up to her in the way Ellie did. She never thought anyone would like her full stop. Her dad had always told her she wasn't worth the air she breathed so she had never though she was worth anyone's time yet here she was. She had everything she ever wished for and a whole lot more.

Saying goodbye to Ellie at the end of the holiday was harder than it had ever been before as Ruth was beginning to feel extremely close to the eighteen year old.

But after Ellie left Ruth had other things to distract her from the missing part of the family. She couldn't help but be fascinated by her expanding belly. River also seemed enamoured with it and Ruth had stopped flinching when the little hands would appear just under the hem of her t-shirt at random times of the day when she least expected it.

Infact she was just happy River was getting so involved. A lot of kids might have been jealous or angry that their 'Mum' was going to introduce another child to the family.

But River took everything in her stride as always. She had even had a tantrum when Ruth said she was going to be dropped off at Adam's whilst they went for the twenty week scan. Which was how Ruth found herself lying on a bed with Jay sat next to her a little nine year old bouncing about the room asking the poor nurse more questions than she knew the answers to.

Nerves flicked through Ruth's body as she waited for the nurse to sort out the machine. She could feel the little baby wriggling under her shaking hands which were rested across her belly, apparently he or she was nervous too.

Ruth remembered the moment the kicks has began distinctively. She was four months and two weeks pregnant.

Ruth was talking River to school. They were walking hand in hand down the high street. Her bump was now clearly visible under her cardigan and Ruth was attracting a lot of looks from different people.

River was chattering away about how excited she was about going back and apparently about some game Bethany had gotten for Christmas. Ruth had nodded along at the right points but she was really focusing on her surroundings, taking in the leafless trees and kids in scarves. Winter had always been her favourite season even if she had spent most of her childhood winters freezing in the shabby flat with no heating as all her parents money had gone on booze yet again.

Why she liked the season was beyond her. Maybe it was because it matched her personality or maybe it was the idea of bundling up in more layers than physically possible and snuggling down under the duvets, one of her childhood safe places.

Whatever it was her she was firmly lost in her thoughts when the strangest sensation rippled though her body. She recoiled and yelled out worriedly wondering what was happening.

Little River was immediately at her side, tugging on her sleeve.

"Mum! Mum are you ok?"

"It feels strange." Ruth gasped slightly as the strange feeling took over again

"Shall I call Jay?"

"No give me a minute sweetie." Ruth said rested her hand on her bare stomach suddenly she felt it again and she realised… This was perfectly normal.

"It's the Baby!" She told River excitedly "Its kicking!"

"Really?" River said excitedly "Can I touch?"

"Yes!" Ruth said excitedly

River slid her hand up next to Ruth's and giggled as the rippling went through Ruth's stomach once more.

"Wow!" River beamed

"I know!" Ruth felt like a small child

They stood there for a good ten minutes waiting for it to happen again acquiring some strange looks, Ruth didn't care, this was the single most amazing thing she had ever felt.

She smiled at the memory as she felt that now familiar ripple of a kick.

The nurse looked over.

"Little bit of a wriggler is it?" She asked with a smile and Ruth nodded

"Lets have a look then."

She squeezed the bottle of jelly onto Ruth's stomach and then gently put the scanner in it slowly spreading it around and revealing an image that Ruth found simply amazing. Ten little fingers, ten little toes, a head, a body, two arm and two legs. They all sat there even River was transfixed by the image. Ruth had never seen the nine year old so quiet and so still. The nurse patiently let them look for a few minutes as she printed three copies of the image on the screen and handed them one each. River immediately put hers in her pocket proudly.

"Everything looks healthy Mr and Mrs Faldren." She smiled "The baby is a good size and growing correctly, I Imagine it should be quite easy going, I don't foresee any problems."

Ruth was relieved to here those words, she knew the birth wouldn't be easy but to know that the pregnancy was going smoothly and there didn't seem to be any impending problems was a relief alone.

"Thanks." Ruth sighed as River bounced over and dipped her finger in the jelly.

"Can I have a go?"

"Ok but be very careful." The nurse smiled slightly at River's enthusiasm and immediately set about showing her how to hold the scanner and how to move it over Ruth's belly.

"I'm going to be a midwife!" River announced as the Nurse took the scanner back and started packing he equipment away.

Ruth shook her head smiling as she clutched the picture of her child closely to her chest excitement bubbling through her, everything felt a lot more real and a lot more amazing.


	8. Trouble is always around the corner

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 8 - Trouble is always around the corner.**

A little piece of paper had never been so interesting to Jay. His eyes were fixed to the fuzzy black and white picture a small smile lighting up his features.

"Jay."

"Jay?"

"Jay Faldren will you please listen to me!"

"Oh sorry!" Jay blushed turning around to see Tess glaring at him

"You are supposed to be working, if you can't keep your mind on your…" She began to rant at him.

He spun the photo around and held it out so she could see stopping her mid rant.

"Oh." She said as she saw the fuzzy black and which image in front of her.

"I'm sorry I'm a little excited…" he blushed

"So you should be, not long now is it?" She smiled slightly

"Four months." Jay beamed

She smiled and they both fell silent.

"Go on, back to work." She said nodding her head at the door a few seconds later.

Jay saluted her as he slipped the image into his pocket and headed to the door whilst she shook her head.

Soon the whole department had been subjected to staring at Ruth's scan as an excited Jay producing the increasingly more crinkled photo from his pocket at every possible opportunity.

The end of Jay's shift arrived slowly. He was looking forward to a nice night in front of the television with his beautiful wife and little sister. He was still clutching the photo as he stepped out of the department and headed towards his car to go and pick up River from school.

"Jamshid."

Jay's heart dropped as he head that word, that voice.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked spinning around to see his mother leaning against the wall.

He could see her more clearly in the day light, her hair was greasy and her shirt was short and tight, highly inappropriate as it was still February. Her legs and arms were covered with Goosebumps and her lightly tanned skin was painted with over excessive make up, she looked slightly like an evil doll.

"Please"

"No." Jay said simply

"You help me." She pleaded and he started to walk faster

"No!" Jay spun around "I want nothing to do with you."

"I need your help!"

"No you want my money so you can buy drugs." Jay told her bitterly

"I want to stop."

"Yeah right."

"I want to see River."

"Never." Jay shook his head "You can stalk me all you want but you stay away from her and you stay away from Ruth."

"What's that?" she gestured at the picture he was still clutching in his hand.

"This, this is my family." He waved the scan in front of her "Not you."

"Baby?"

"Yes, We're having a baby, no you will not get to see it." he told her harshly

"I need my baby." She folded her arms looking sorry for herself

"You are not going anywhere near River. You hear me?" Jay approached her so his face was merely centimetres from hers

"I am her Mum!" she protested

"No. No your not. Ruth is." Jay smirked slightly "A mum is there for you. Looks after you. Has a respectable job. Ruth is River's mum. You. You are no ones mum."

"I am too!" She protested "You can't change your family!"

"Oh I know." Jay sneered grabbing her arm "How many times I wished my mother wasn't a druggy #####."

"I am not!"

"The track marks and short skirt suggest otherwise." Jay told her bluntly. Pulling her arm and gesturing at the marks. "Family means nothing. It is all about who you chose to be. Look at Ruth. She's made something of herself, she came from the estate and a bad family but she's fast on the way to becoming a top Emergency doctor."

Her little eyes seemed to be deep in thought as she tried to work out how best to pursued him.

"I need help!" she blurted out once more.

"No you help yourself and then, then I will consider helping you." Jay told her simply dropping her arm down to her side.

"I am not heartless, I am realistic." He said simply "But to earn a second chance or a helping hand you have to prove you really want it."

"I do."

"Prove it."

"I can."

"You cant"

She sighed biting her chapped lip.

"Just stay away from me, Stay away from Ruth, Stay away from River, Ellie and Leila. Stay away from this hospital, I don't need you hassling me at work, neither does Ruth." Jay told her "I don't want to see you again unless you are actually making an effort to stop. They I will consider helping you. Even then I might not, you have done a lot of things that are unforgivable so don't think I will forgive you with a click of my fingers." he clicked his finger and turned around heading towards his car.

"I'll be back." She told him "I will."

Jay ignored her though he couldn't help but feel nervous. She seemed so sure of herself but something in her voice made him think she would be back to ask again, not to prove she was quitting the drugs.

He shook his head. She couldn't do anything anyway.

He pocketed his picture of Ruth's scan and slipped the keys into his car door and let himself in deep in thought.

He didn't see her smile growing more and more evil as he drove away, nor did he see her running off in the direction the estate chanting something under her breath.

He drove furiously muttering about his mother under his breath. He flicked the CD on and turned the music up loud to drown out the thoughts of her and tried to distract himself from the voice in the back of his head that made him want to help her. He knew she didn't deserve it but he believed in second chances. He would never give her a second chance though. He decided as he pulled up outside River's school, not until she made some serious life style decisions.

He smiled as River ran up the car door.

If she hadn't been involved he might have slipped, let his guard down and let her in and let her use him once more but River, River was to innocent to be subjected to her.

His mood was greatly improved as his mind slipped from his mother to River who was chattering away enthusiastically, everyone in the entire building had seen Ruth's scan by the sounds of things. He smiled. The little girl would probably never know what she meant to him.

"Your quiet, Why?" River asked

"Ah just thinking about adult stuff kid, don't worry your pretty little head." He smiled as he checked left and right at the junction.

"I worry if you are sad!" River announced suddenly "Is it the baby?"

"Nope baby is fine." Jay informed her simply

"Ruth?" She asked inquisitively

"She's fine too." Jay nodded

"Ellie?" She asked convinced there was a problem

"Listen trouble. I promise if something was up I would let you know ok?" Jay half lied.

"Ok Jay!" River grinned "Can we go to McDonalds?" she added slyly batting her eyelashes knowing her big brother a little too well.

"And risk the wrath of Ruth?" Jay raised and eyebrow "The wrath of a pregnant woman, specifically that particular pregnant woman isn't good to be on the end of!"

"So?" River asked innocently flickering her eyelids once more "We can take her Strawberry Milkshake! Then she can't complain! She loves Strawberry Milkshakes!" River beamed excitedly

"Good idea trouble!" Jay laughed "Actually I fancy a Big Mac and Cheese." Jay said ruffling her hair "Lets go get a drive through and go see what Ruth is up to!"

"Yay!" River beamed "Can I have a McFlurry?"

"Only if you share!"

"You suck!" River pouted

"No You Suck!" Jay stuck his tongue out cheekily.

"You do!"

"I'll see what I can do." Jay winked

"That means yes!" River predicted "I have the bestest big brother ever!" She grinned "I want a Smarties McFlurry."

"Ok I draw the line at that, no Smarties, I am not scraping you off the ceiling." Jay rolled his eyes "No blue food colouring! You either have a Crunchie one or a Caramel one or nothing."

River pulled a face then smiled

"Crunchie one it is!"


	9. Heart Stopping Moments

**The Broken Fairytale**

**Chapter 9 - Heart Stopping Moments**

Two months passed in the blink of an eye and it was soon time for Ruth to start her maternity leave. She was now a lot larger and finding a lot of things difficult to do, much to her own frustration. She didn't like to admit it but she was looking forward to her maternity leave as she felt constantly exhausted. Jay was also relieved the day had arrived. He was getting more and more worried she was doing to much and he knew better than anyone else the only way to stop Ruth doing her job was to get her completely out of the way.

"I see something's never change." Tess's voice reached Jays ears as he dashed out of the staffroom wearing a rather crumpled pair of scrubs on the morning of Ruth's leaving party.

"Family stuff." Jay said breathlessly not wanting to explain the main reason for his lateness was that he had been having the pillow fight to end all pillow fights with River before taking her to school and since one of the pillows had exploded everywhere he had been unable to leave the house without hovering the entire place knowing that Ruth would have killed him otherwise.

"Get to work" Tess passed Jay a file

"Watch it be another drunk old…" Jay mumbled as he wandered towards the designated cubicle. He pulled the curtain back only to see a face that made him recoil.

"Ah Jay!" She grinned lopsidedly

"Get out." He said emotionlessly "Now."

"I'm injured so you has to treat me!" she half smirked pointing at her damaged wrist and scrapped face.

He wrinkled his nose at the numerous pin pricks up her arm. Several were fresh so she had obviously not even attempted to stop.

For some reason that hurt more than Jay thought it would, he thought she would have at least tried to after his last conversation with her in the car park a good two months ago.

"I will treat you, I will bandage your wrist but then that's it." Jay sighed irritably predicating the barrage of requests for money that were likely to come his way.

She fell silent and he began to treat her swollen wrist finding himself unable to feel any sympathy for the woman. She seemed to be watching her, but he ignored her.

"I just need a hundred pounds." She blurted out suddenly "I can have somewhere to sleep for hundred."

"No chance."

"Please Jamshid! I am your mother…"

"You are nothing to me." He finished the bandage off angrily and dropped her arm. "Get out of here. Get out now."

He grabbed her other arm and physically removed her from the cubicle and gave her a stern look.

She sneered at him.

"You will regret not helping me!"

"I will never regret not helping a druggy get their next fix." he told him simply "Get out."

She made an indignant noise and then stormed off in the direction of the reception leaving Jay glaring in her wake.

Ruth was excited.

Today was her last shift in the emergency department. She was beginning to struggle with being so heavily pregnant and seemed to be constantly tired. She had never looked forward so much to having some time off.

She knew Jay was planning a party, she would have preferred to go quietly but with Jay as her husband, that would never happen and she knew that all too well.

She was heading up the stairs, a feat on its own for a heavily pregnant Ruth, to a meeting Adam had asked her attend for him. She seemed to be doing a lot of non clinical duties at the moment but it didn't bother her so much because non clinical duties were a lot easier on her than clinical duties.

"You have to help me."

Ruth stopped in her tacks as the woman stepped out in front of her. Her face was so familiar but not at the same time.

Ruth wrinkled her nose slightly at her as she took in the short skirt, extremely inappropriate top and worn out looking high heels. The lady looked no better than the hookers off the estate, the ones she had to clamber through the bushes to avoid making contact with as a child but then thinking of it she probably was one of them. Holby hospital was the nearest port of call for cases from the old estate requiring accident and emergency treatment. This woman looked like she had been dragged across the floor, her cheek had a massive graze covering it, goose pimples obvious on her bare arms and chest.

"I'm sorry I'm on my break." Ruth started trying not to show her distain for the woman, she had not quite managed to remove her hatred for that place from her memory. Anything that reminded her of her past made her tense up and feel particularly awkward. "The emergency department is…"

"I don't need the emergency department." She told Ruth pointing at her wrist which was neatly bandaged "Been already see, no Doctor Faldren I need you." she looked into her blue eyes "You are Doctor Faldren aren't you?"

Ruth stepped back looking shocked that the ragged looking woman knew her name and eyed her up suspiciously. If she was from the estate then she could be up to absolutely anything and know her for absolutely any reason. Including, she suddenly realised with a jolt, through her father or brother.

"You see you cant be like them, you come from the estate dint'cha ya? Winters wasn't it?"

"Who the hell are you?" Ruth asked suddenly very concerned about this woman's knowledge of her and her life. She held her arms over her belly as if she was subconsciously protecting the baby from her.

"You'll help me."

"Will I?" Ruth raised and eyebrow wanting to step back but unable to as she was now inches form the top of the stairs.

"You sees my ignorant son refuses to help." She spat

"Your Jay's mum." It clicked, the face was so familiar and now she knew why, if she hadn't looked so ragged she would have looked a lot like Ellie, similar face shape and eyes. But her skin was stretched across her skull a bit like a corpse and now Ruth looked closer her arms were littered with puncture wounds from obvious substance abuse.

"He said you was clever." She smirked slightly Ruth felt nervous that wasn't a nice smirk.

"If Jay wont help you its probably for a good reason…" Ruth started

"Good reason!" She tutted "He'd rather see his mother rot on the streets than have a roof over her head!"

"Look I don't have any money…" Ruth started

"Your like your brother aren't ya?" she narrowed her eyes "Tight as a brick cemented into a wall."

"How do you know my brother?" Ruth asked worriedly

"Everyone knows the great Jonathon Winters." she rolled her eyes slightly "You gonna help me?"

"I can't." Ruth said simply

"Ruthie Winters…"

"Don't call me that!" Ruth snapped

"He owes me!" She grabbed Ruth's wrists angrily and started to shake her. "He put me in this mess if he had never been born.."

"Get off I am sorry but I cant help I don't even know you!"

Ruth couldn't decipher the words she said next but suddenly she was falling, She was falling and could do nothing about it.

The last thing she remembered was a sharp pain in her stomach as she hit the floor.

Jay slunk away from his shift avoiding the watchful eye of Tess, To go and get Ruth's leaving party set up but he couldn't resist pulling out the baby magazine he had found in cubicles earlier and whistling as he flicked through the pages. He was beginning to get rather excited about the child that he would soon be holding in his arms. He turned the corner flicking the page and glancing up to check Tess wasn't hiding around the corner but what he saw instead made him drop the magazine and bolt forwards, collapsing to his knees.

Ruth.

She was lying unconscious on the floor at the bottom of the steps. He looked up and saw a pair of cold dull brown eyes staring back at him.

As his mother spotted him looking up she turned and fled.

He wanted to chase her, to yell at her, to find out what she had done this time but his attention was draw back to his wife and their unborn child as he realised Ruth was bleeding from two places. Her head and between her legs.


	10. Lucky

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 10 - Lucky. **

Blurry.

Everything was so blurry.

Had she been out the night before and had a few too many vodka and cokes?

Had she taken some pills again? Or tried… Surely not… Ruth squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think back. What had happened?

She was struggling to recall her last memory.

She was walking down a corridor.

In oversized scrubs.

She was tired.

Energy zapped by the large weight she was carrying.

Her stomach was so big she couldn't see her toes. She hadn't seen her toes in just over four months.

Her hand immediately fell on her now much flatter stomach and as she realised how flat it was she began to panic. She had been pregnant, seven months pregnant. Her stomach should not be flat.

She sat up violently tearing the wires and tubes form her body blood dribbling from her arm. She didn't care she only cared about her baby. Where was it? She flung herself form the bed and collapsed. Her vision blurring once more and fading completely she began to fit.

Jay returned to the eerily familiar ICU after dropping River off with Jessica and Adam. His heart stopped as he stepped in his wife was lying on the floor fitting violently. He had never ran so fast towards a patient. But he was panicking and found himself totally unable to recall any medical knowledge, it was a relief when two of the ward nurses came over and stabilised her. But he knew this could potentially be very bad news.

As the nurses and a porter lifted his wife back onto the bed and reconnected all the wires, cleaning her up in a rough manner that he would never use even on the most irritating of patients. He glared at the nurses and grabbed her cold hand as they left the bed unwilling to remain under his glare a moment longer. He turned his attention to the beautiful girl in front of him.

"Oh Ruth, Please don't do this to me sweetie. You have to be ok. Keep fighting Cinders" He said gently tears pouring from his eyes. "Our Little girl needs you."

She was very lucky. Those were the only four words Jay managed to take in from what the Doctor was telling him. The fit was caused by her sudden movement and disconnecting of the wires and a subsequent lack of oxygen. Jay's arrival had been only second after the fit had began, meaning that luckily she hadn't been left for too long. She was also extremely lucky she hadn't hit her head on the way down the second time.

Jay had never been so relieved to hear the word concussion in his entire life as he considered the other types of damage the fall could have caused to her head.

He sighed sadly as the doctors left.

She was due to wake up soon and boy did she have a lot to wake up to.

The past few days had been a blur.

"We have too choices Jay." Adam said bluntly "We deliver the baby prematurely by caesarean to give them both the best chance of surviving this or we risk it and treat Ruth and hope the baby is a fighter. I would recommend the first."

"Then do it. I trust you Adam. Ruth trusts you." Jay said looking up into the eyes of the wise doctor who nodded

"Can we get someone from maternity down her as soon as possible! Lets sort this mess out!" He yelled giving Jay's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he turned to help the team.

Half an hour later she was born.

Jay had nicknamed her 'Lucky', she was the single smallest and most fragile thing he had ever seen before and she was completely stunning just like her mum.

He had been splitting his time between Ruth and his little girl. Ellie had returned early from University to look after River as soon as she had heard of the incident. Jay had already seen to it that his mother had been arrested, let out on bail and given a restraining order. Thankfully the hospital CCTV had shed some light on the situation, capturing a confused Ruth engaging in a none threatening conversation with his mother which suddenly turned into her being pushed deliberately backwards and falling. Jay hadn't enjoyed watching it. It had been one of the most disturbing things to see but to have his mother on restraining order was nothing short of a relief.

He had not reacted like he had when his Nan had collapsed and was in a similar situation. Originally he had frozen up, his thoughts solely on Ruth but then as he saw his little girl, as he held her…

Adam hurried over holding the small bundle of blankets.

"I shouldn't… she needs to go to intensive care as soon as possible but I thought…" He said emotionally.

Jay nodded and took the small girl in his arms looking down into the blankets to see a familiar button nose as sprinkle of dark curls.

It was only a couple of seconds he held her but as he headed the bundle back to Adam who rushed his daughter over to the midwife he already felt the strong overwhelming urge to protect her.

Something changed, reality hit and the desire to be strong for his daughter and wife over powered the desire to shut the world out and worry for them.

Days it had been now. Days since she had been pushed down the stairs, Days since she had first woken from her self induced coma only to collapse once more. Jay was beginning to get worried. He knew the longer she was out the worse the possible damage.

His head was in his hands when he heard it. The splutter beneath the mask.

He jerked to life hardly daring to look at her face as she spluttered and choked her eyes flying open. Full of fear and panic.

She reached out slowly at first like she was unsure of how to use her arms but then as she neared him her hand picked up speed and she snatched his wrist gripping it tight with her nails digging into the back of his arm.

"Baby." She muttered her eyes wide and fearful.


	11. Grasping at life

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 11 ****- Grasping at life. **

Jay had never seen her so panicked, so frantic, so worried. She was struggling like she was trying to escape from some quicksand and he just couldn't calm her for long enough to tell her what was really going on.

"Where is my baby? why am I here? what happened? I killed it didn't I?" The words flowing from her mouth were becoming more and more frantic and more and more self derogatory "I am a stupid bitch!" She finally yelled causing Jay to simply grab her wrists and present her from flailing more, the tubes and wires were tangled around her and most were pulled out and causing blood to speckle the sheets she was lying under.

"Calm down." He said sensibly as she fought against his grasp.

He didn't want to let her know how much it hurt him to see her so panicked and how much it worried him that she had done something serious to herself.

"Oh Ruth please." He said sadly as the tears poured down his face. "Let me explain."

"Its dead isn't it? I told you I couldn't have a kid!" Ruth's face when white and her hands started to shake.

"No, No, No!" Jay shook his head "We have a beautiful baby girl." He couldn't help but let the smile creep across his face as he said those words. He hadn't personally told anyone yet and he felt so proud to announce that.

"What?" Ruth sounded like she didn't believe him

"A Little girl Ruth! Adam delivered her, she's in intensive care, under observation but apart from being a little small due to her being so premature she is fine." Jay beamed

"I didn't…"

"You didn't do anything!" Jay suddenly shot out looking into her eyes "My mother did and I am so sorry, Its all my fault, I could have killed you both. I should have gone to the police long ago she's been hassling me for months…" he admitted with a sigh.

"What? Why didn't you tell me! We are supposed to be married! I thought you knew you could come to me and trust…" Ruth started looking slightly put out and rather worried.

"I didn't want to worry you." Jay admitted "I am a lousy husband I can't even protect you!"

"If you are so useless then why are you exactly where I need you. Next to me." Ruth looked up into his eyes "I was… no I am so scared Jay." She admitted honestly her eyes filling with tears.

"Oh Ruth." He wrapped his arms around her as she broke down

"Am I going to be ok? Is she going to be ok?" Ruth suddenly blurted out "I don't really remember what happened and everything feels strange."

"You will be fine." He reassured her despite not knowing that for a fact "She's in Neonatal ICU being incubated but she is getting stronger by the hour. Once she's strengthened up a little, she will be fine too. The reason you are is that my stupid mother pushed you down a flight of stairs. The feeling is probably just because you have been out for a few days now."

"What about River? And Ellie? And Leila?" She blurted out

"All fine, Ellie has come home for a few weeks, she's been looking after River and has been a little star. Leila is worried but tied up with work." Jay explained

"Work?" She asked

"Your Maternity leave started two hours after the accident, don't panic so much Ruth." Jay sighed "Look lets get the Doctors in, they will need ot check you over ok?"

"Can I see her?" Ruth asked quickly

"Lets get you sorted first ok?" Jay kissed her on the forehead and stood up

"Don't leave." Ruth panicked as he made his was to the door

"Wouldn't dream of it." He winked opening the door and looking down the corridor obviously spotting a doctor as he made a gesturing motion. Ruth watched carefully as he came back over, cheerful looking doctor in tow.

"Ah Mrs Faldren! How lovely to see you awake and responsive! I presume your husband has already told you the happy news?" She nodded slightly as her mouth suddenly felt like it was full of sand. Jay noticed her pain and offered her a glass of water which she gratefully let him feed her. "As you may have noticed you have been unconscious for a good few days so we will need to assess you."

"Ok." She nodded "Jay can stay?" She half asked half demanded

"Of course." The doctor nodded. Ruth slipped her hand into Jay's taking him by surprise. Jay smiled slightly and squeezed her cold bony hand as the doctor stepped forward and a nurse hurried in to help.

Jay had never been so relieved to hear the all clear. No lasting damage, apparently Ruth's body had pretty much healed itself, Infact the main issue was her caesarean scar, which was looking a bit sore and infected from all her fidgeting.

The Doctor and Nurses left looking happy saying they wanted to keep her under observation incase there was an unknown problem so she was to remain in her bed for the next twenty four hours then they would re-assess and discuss discharging her or putting her on a ward.

Ruth sighed and leaned back.

"I want to see her." She told Jay

"You have to rest, you can see her tomorrow." Jay said responsibly

"No." Ruth told him looking up her bright blue eyes digging into his "Now."

"Ruth you can't! I can't…" Jay protested and she leaned back closing her eyes and opening them to reveal that they were full of tears.

Jay's heart broke, He could almost feel her need to see the child, to know she was real, alive. He had felt the same need.

"Screw it." He blurted out "Just give me five."

"Jay don't leave!" Ruth shouted at him

"Do you want to see her?"

"Yes?"

"Then I'll be five minutes." He said simply. Charging from the room his footsteps echoing loudly down the corridor beyond the doors.

Ruth looked around her nervously fiddling with her canula in a way she knew she shouldn't do as she waited anxiously for his return. The idea of being alone scared her so much for some strange reason. Her heart was racing as she glanced around and she jumped violently as the door opened.

Was Jay's mother Back?

"Here!" Jay grinned proudly pushing a wheel chair through the door "Are you ok?"

He added noticing Ruth's breathing had become shallow.

"Yes." She swallowed the fear and the nerves.

"Well then your taxi awaits!" He didn't seem convinced by her response but had obviously decided not to press it further.

Jay carefully arranged the drips, wires and equipment expertly before slipping his arms underneath his fail wife and lifting her into the wheel chair. She remained silent and still as he did the job observing him closely, admiring his professionalism. If someone had told her all that time ago when she first met Jay that she would be calling him professional she would have laughed in their faces.

She smiled slightly as Jay checked the coast was clear then began to run down the corridor.

"Jay this isn't supposed to be a theme park ride!" She screeched as they hurtled down the corridor

"Sorry." Jay laughed pulling the chair into a lower speed.

He pushed her slightly more sensibly down the familiar corridors, following the path he took daily as he switched between his daughter and his wife's bedsides.

He reflected on how he would have reacted before his grandmothers death. He would have been selfish, the stress and strain, he knew he wouldn't have handed led it well. Not at all.

"Jay?" Ruth suddenly asked as she saw a sign for neonatal ICU "What does she look like?"

"What do you mean?" Jay asked stopping he wheel chair and coming around to face his anxious wife.

"What does she look like? Is she…" Ruth swallowed nervously

"She is small but she just looks like a miniature baby, normal really." Jay told her with a small shrug "She has dark curls already." He added with a small smile. "And she seems to have inherited someone's bright blue eyes!" He kissed her forehead "Don't worry ok? Its not as scary as you think I promise."

"I love you." Ruth smiled looking relieved.

"I love you too sweetie." He replied "Lets go see our little girl."

"Ok." Ruth grinned excitedly "But Jay?" She suddenly added her smile falling form her face "What if I don't bond with her…"

"You will." Jay smiled oh wait until you see her, she's beautiful just like her mother.

"I hope I do." Ruth worried slightly

"Stop panicking!" Jay shook his head pushing the wheelchair straight through the doors and into neonatal ICU.

The stench of steriliser hit Ruth's nostrils immediately and the little bleeps from the little incubators and cribs made her heart flutter. The baby, the one she had shopped for and secretly sang to was lying in one of those incubators.

Ruth wanted to launch herself from the chair and run between them to find her baby, her little girl. She already felt so protective of the baby she hadn't even see yet.

Jay wheeled her up to incubator number two and stopped.

"Here she is." He said proudly

Ruth pushed herself closer to the little incubator, tears welling un in her eyes as her eyes spotted the wriggling baby inside, she was just how Jay had described, a miniature version of a normal baby and far from scary. The only thing that seemed scary to Ruth now as she watched her beat her little fists against the air was the idea of holding her. She looked so fragile, like she would break at the slightest touch.

"Put your finger in." Jay whispered in Ruth's ear "Seriously, she started to grasp me yesterday!" He grinned proudly

Ruth looked a little nervous but slipped a shaking finger inside the little hole and gently rested it against the little girls hand.

The biggest smile Jay had ever seen crossed Ruth's face as her little fist closed around her finger and her little eyes flickered open revealing blue ones similar to Ruth's own. Why Ruth had been worried about feeling anything for the girl she didn't really know. She loved her from the second her eyes had made contact with the tiny child.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Jay asked as Ruth watching the girl squeeze her finger with a look nothing short of amazement covering her face.

"Stunning." Ruth mumbled unable to take her eyes off the child.

"And she's all ours." Jay beamed

"I don't deserve her." Ruth said sadly her eyes still unable to move away from the little figure.

"You do." Jay said crouching down at her side and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "After everything we both deserve her."

Ruth smiled slightly and kissed his cheek her finger still remaining in the grasp as her child.

"Things always come good in the end" Jay smiled

"Yes, I guess they do." Ruth agreed feeling overwhelmingly happy.

She had a family. A Real family for the first time in her life.


	12. How to Name a Baby

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 12 - How to Name a Baby. **

The next day Ruth was waiting to here how much longer she was going to be in hospital when Jay returned from visiting their little girl, baby name book in hand.

"What's that?" Ruth asked curiously not able to see the title of the book her

husband was closing "You don't read…" She looked slightly shocked.

"We need to name her!" He flashed the book briefly in front of Ruth's face before flopping into the familiar chipped seat by her bedside flicking through the pages feverishly.

"She isn't going to melt if we don't name her!" Ruth rolled her eyes slightly

"But still!" Jay protested flicking through the book as Ruth watched "She needs a name!"

"She does." Ruth nodded

They both fell silent obviously thinking about what they could name their little girl.

"How do you pick a name for a baby?" Jay wondered out loud minutes later as he slammed the book down on his lap "she's been alive all of a week and a half how are we supposed to know if she's a Lucy, Becky, Michelle, Taylor or a Pricilla."

"Pricilla?" Ruth snorted "What book are you reading? 1001 names from the 1800's?"

"The big book of baby names!" Jay told her simply "and don't look at me like that! Its in the book!" he protested "Why don't we just stick with Lucky?"

"No chance, she sounds like a porn star! Anyways I actually have had an idea." Ruth told him as he scanned the next page "And it might have been caused by me reading that book when you left it on your bedside table." She added blushing

"Really?"

"Well I had some ideas." Ruth blushed pulling out an identical baby name book and gesturing at the little tags sticking out the top of it where she had marked the pages with the names she liked on."

"Someone was a little too over prepared!" Jay laughed as she blushed.

"I looked back through last night." Ruth explained "This place is ridiculous at night, you cant sleep with all the damn beeping!" Ruth said pulling a face "Anyway there were several I liked but one stood out."

"What was it then?" Jay asked closing his own book and looking up at Ruth who had opened her book onto the page and was sliding her finger down she stopped and held the book in his direction.

"Isabella." Ruth told him "Isabella Maryam."

"Oh Ruth its so… perfect." Ruth saw tears building in his eyes

"Hey don't cry on me!" Ruth suddenly said as he turned to face her

"Nan would be proud." he said simply he hadn't even thought of including his Nan's first name as their daughters middle name but it was such a lovely sentiment.

"Isabella Maryam Faldren." Ruth smiled and Jay nodded.

"She scares me." He admitted suddenly "River wasn't that small when she arrived at Nan's, Isabella is so fragile and tiny…"

"Your not scared of frogs but your daughter sends shivers down your spine!" Ruth laughed.

"What if I break her?" Jay blurted out

"Jay she's a baby not a vase!" Ruth laughed slightly and then looked serious "I'm going to be a rubbish Mum…"

"Nah your not!" Jay reassured her "I'm going to be the rubbish parent!"

"I will probably leave the baby in the crib and try and feed the vase instead…" Ruth blushed

"Ok no one could do that." Jay laughed "I think were are expecting the worst aren't we?"

"Quite possibly" Ruth laughed as the door opened. She looked up expecting it to be the doctor but instead she saw a much more familiar face.

"Toby!" She grinned as the nervous male entered the room

"Hey Ruth, Jay." He smiled nervously "How are you doing?"

"I'm good." Ruth nodded "A little sore but that's to be expected."

"And the baby…" he looked as if no one had told him what was going on.

"She's doing well." Ruth smiled "Stop looking so nervous and get over here!" She held out her arms and Toby approached letting her hug him close. She winced slightly as he pulled away.

"Oh god did I.." Toby jumped back panicking that he hurt her

"No, Stop worrying!" Ruth smiled "I have a bit of an infection on my caesarean scar."

"Oh.." Toby scratched the back of his head on in the nervous way only he did.

"Toby stop looking at me like that!" Ruth scalded him irritably "I won't break you fool."

"Sorry." He muttered smiling slightly "So a little girl?"

"Yep." Jay grinned proudly

"And I can't even visit her, well not technically…" She winked at Jay "Luckily I have a husband who is willing to risk a telling off to take his supposedly bed ridden wife to see her daughter." She smiled at Jay who squeezed her hand comfortingly smiling back.

Toby could just feel the love radiating between the two of them, he felt an overwhelming urge of happiness as he watched Ruth gazing lovingly into Jay's eyes. He had seen her at the lowest of lows, he knew more than she thought he did about her and her past, he knew she was actually a very insecure but wonderful person and it meant so much to him see her finally happy, finally coming out of her shell and proving that actually the real Ruth Winters is nothing like the icy façade she used to fix in place to protect herself form the outside world.

"Jay you must take Toby to see Isabella." Ruth told Jay suddenly distracting Toby from his thoughts

"Isabella? That's a beautiful name." Toby smiled

"You approve?" Ruth asked with a lopsided grin "We just decided."

"I love it." Toby nodded "And I'd love to see her."

"Jay take him." Ruth nodded towards the door "I can look after myself for half an hour, you never know that doctor might appear…"

"Oh you know your just as bad!" Jay winked as he stood up

"Hey! I do not leave my patients waiting for four hours." She replied folding her arms. He lent down and kissed her on the lips.

"No you leave them for five!" He winked waving Toby over. "Come on."

"Take care Ruth." Toby nodded kissing Ruth on the cheek "If you need anything don't hesitate to ask."

"I wont." She nodded "Thanks Tobes."

He nodded and followed Jay form the room leaving a rather lost looking Ruth behind fiddling with her own drip.

"Alright mate?" Jay asked as they walked "You look like there's something on your mind."

"I'm fine." Toby nodded "Just thinking back, You have been very good for her."

"I hope I have." Jay said a hint of nerves in his voice

"I know you have." Toby smiled "I remember when I started to get to know her, When I realised she wasn't actually a bitch like she pretended to be. I thought she need someone, someone special to help her be who she really is. It takes a special person to help someone like Ruth show their true colours."

"I never thought she would ever accept me." Jay admitted suddenly "Boy did she hate me."

"She hated everyone, but really I think she only hated everyone because she didn't know how to communicate with them or how to trust them." Toby shared his thoughts "But here she is, Married, looking after a nine year old and having just had her own baby. She has grown so much as a person."

"She has." Jay nodded "Having a friend like you helps to."

"Nah its all down to you."

"It isn't" Jay shrugged as they reached the neonatal ICU "There are many people who have helped her grow into the person she deserves to be, you, Nick, Adam, River, Ellie… Everyone who has had a positive effect on her. Everyone has helped her come this far. She also has helped herself but Isabella will be the icing on the cake. I can feel it."

Toby smiled and nodded as Jay pushed the door open.

Silence fell between the two men as they wandered up to the little incubator containing Isabella.

"Hey Little Girl, your Uncle Toby's come to see you." Jay smiled slipping his finger into the incubator and grinning manically as she immediately grasped it looking up at him with her bright blue eyes.

"Jay she's gorgeous." Toby said slightly awestruck by the fragile but beautiful little child.

"Have a go." Jay encouraged Toby removing his finger form the little girls grasp.

Toby gently and slowly moved his hand into the incubator and rested his finger against her open palm. The little blue eyes so similar to Ruth's stared up at him and then he felt the little tug as she closed her tiny little fingers around his giant one.

"Its like magic." Toby told Jay "Absolute magic."

"Oh yes." Jay beamed "I can't wait until Ruth can officially come down her but after I ripped her caesarean scar open moving her last time I haven't dared bring her again and she agrees its better to be safe than sorry.

"Definitely if she's got to look after this little thing." Toby nodded pulling a silly face at the child

"I can see your going to be her favourite uncle!" Jay laughed slightly as they stepped back from the incubator.

"Just let Ruth know she can call me anytime, babysitting, company, anything, I will come." Toby said as they walked towards the door

"Thanks mate." Jay nodded pulling him into a manly hug and clapping him on the back.

"You must be Jay."

Jay did not recognise the voice as it echoed down the corridor towards them but Toby did, he spun around and grinned at the familiar face.

"Maggie?"


	13. Visitors

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 13 - Visitors **

"Toby!" Maggie grinned hugging her former colleague

"Jay this is Maggie, she used to work in the emergency department before you arrived." Toby introduced the older doctor "Ruth and I used to live with her and I still rent out her house. Maggie this is Jay, Ruth's husband."

"Nice to meet you." Jay held out a hand politely smiling nervously

"You too, I never thought I'd see the day!" Maggie smiled slightly "Ruth never seemed the type to have a husband let alone a little girl!"

"Well she's changed." Jay said quite harshly "If you had told me I would marry her when I met her…" he added in a much calmer tone with a small lopsided smile on his face.

"You'd have told me I was crazy?" Maggie laughed slightly "She was a very vulnerable young doctor." She added thinking back to the circumstances she had begun living with Ruth. "I'm glad she's finally found someone and something worth fighting for."

"Would you like to see Isabella?" Jay asked suddenly a proud smile crossing his face

"I'd love to!" Maggie smiled

"I best get going, will you be coming over later Maggie?" Toby asked

"Yes, you better make sure that house is spotless!" She joked as Toby's face paled. Jay laughed

"Tobes I think she's kidding." Jay laughed

"Oh. right. yeah." Toby blushed "Well I best be off anyway, Make sure Ruth rings me if she needs anything."

"Will do." Jay clapped him on the back before leading Maggie into the neonatal ICU.

"It is nice to come back to see Ruth is doing well." Maggie told Jay as the walked towards Isabella's incubator. "I honestly wasn't expecting to here half of the things Charlie mentioned."

"She is a special girl." Jay told the doctor with a smile as he slipped his finger bag inside the incubator and let the baby grasp his finger.

"I always knew she put up that front, you know the one." She said looked at Jay who nodded "She put it up to stop herself from getting hurt further, you didn't need to specifically know anything about her to know that she had a rough past. The suicide attempt.. She wasn't happy."

"She is now." Jay told Maggie, wait until you see her, sometimes even I don't recognise her."

"Oh I look forward to it." Maggie smiled "Oh she is adorable." she added looking into the incubator and placing her hand on the cold plastic

"Getting stronger by the day." Jay beamed "I could spend hours watching her." he added "Anyway come on Ruth will be waiting for me."

Maggie followed the dark haired nurse from the neonatal ICU up to the private room his wife was in.

She was amazed by the sight of her, she looked so calm, reserved and even though she was in hospital and looking about nervously obviously waiting for Jay to return, she looked happy.

"I have found a visitor wandering the corridors." Jay smiled as he kissed her on the forehead

Maggie smiled from the door way and Ruth half grinned, half grimaced at the sight of her slightly unaware as to how to react to a familiar face from so long ago.

"Look at you Doctor Winters." Maggie smiled as she approached the bed "I never thought I'd see the day! I am so happy for you."

"Thanks Maggie." Ruth's facial expression changed to one of pure happiness. "It's Doctor Faldren now." she added with a small smile.

"Your lovely, may I add handsome, husband has introduced me to your little girl, she's beautiful you are a very lucky woman." Maggie smiled "Look at you! Charlie told me you are working your way up the emergency department, I'm glad you would never have been happy as a surgeon, you liked to make a difference, a real difference."

Ruth just couldn't stop smiling

"Its nice to see you." Ruth smiled in a way Maggie had never seen before, it was a true smile, a real one. "I never thanked you."

"You never had to." Maggie smiled slightly

"No I do." Ruth shook her head. "Thank you for taking me in. You set me up on the path to where I am now and I appreciate it." she slipped her hand into Jay's who smiled.

"I'm just happy things have worked out for you." Maggie nodded

"Thanks." Ruth smiled as the door to the room opened to reveal Ruth's doctor.

"Well I better get going it looks like your needed, Keep in touch ok?" Maggie smiled leaning over and giving Ruth a hug, which to Maggie's amazement the younger doctor returned.

"I will." Ruth nodded as Maggie waved slightly and slipped out of the door.

She put on a rather brave face, though by the way she was crushing Jay's hand it was obvious she was scared.

"Good morning Mrs Faldren."

"Doctor." Ruth corrected him with some of her old iciness reappearing.

"Doctor Faldren." The doctor corrected himself looking slightly annoyed "I will check you over and we will work out where we will go from here ok?"

"Ok." Ruth said quickly

The assessment didn't take long. The doctor didn't seem to want to stick around, a nervous Ruth was shooting him glares, her icy front flung back into place the second the nerves appeared. Jay didn't bother trying to comfort her knowing for a fact his head was going to get bitten off if he dared to try.

Eventually they were left alone to take in the fact the doctor wished to keep her in for another three days to keep an eye on her head and the infection.

"Three days isn't long!" Jay rolled his eyes as Ruth glared at the doctors back

"But I'm fine!" Ruth complained

"Well look on the bright side he said you can go visit Isabella!" Jay smiled

"I suppose." Ruth muttered irritably

"Ruth you know…"

"Its for the best I know." Ruth replied grumpily "River needs me at home though as do you and Ellie, I do not trust you in the kitchen and the amount of junk…"

"You sound like Nan." Jay smiled slightly "Ellie is brining River to see you later."

"Oh good!" Ruth smiled looking excited by the chance to see her surrogate daughter.

"And Isabella, Neither of them have seen her yet." Jay added "We can go down together when they get here."

"Ok." Ruth nodded looking tired.

They didn't have to wait long.

Merely half an hour later he hospital door nearly bounced off its hinges as an over excited River flew into the room and flung her little arms around Ruth's neck, carefully avoiding her midsection.

"Muuuuum!" River beamed kissing Ruth's cheek and nuzzling her head into her shoulder affectionately "I missed you."

"I missed you too sweetie." Ruth replied stroking the little girls hair

"Hey Ruth." Ellie smiled "How are you feeling?"

"Much better." Ruth nodded "The scar is a little sore but everything else is good."

"I'm glad." Ellie grinned Ruth couldn't help notice the twinkle in her eye, that happiness that was so hard to hide.

"When do we get to meet her? Have you named her? What does she look like? Can I hold her?" River blurted out questions so fast it was almost hard to establish what she was saying.

"Slow down trouble!" Jay laughed slightly "You can meet her in a few minutes we just need to get Ruth into the wheelchair."

"And we named her this morning." Ruth smiled

"What? What? What?" River pulled away from Ruth and bounced excitedly on the spot.

Ruth and Jay exchanged a look and Ruth nodded to Jay as if to say you tell them.

"Isabella Maryam Faldren."

"Like Nan!" River smiled fiddling with Ruth's get well soon cards.

"Its beautiful." Ellie smiled slightly looking a little sad. "I can't wait to see her."

"Lets go now." Ruth said looking over at Jay

"I'll get a chair…" Jay said making a move towards the door.

"I can walk!" Ruth said indignantly

"You can not." Jay said simply "I will not let you walk over there until you have walked around your room a bit, you know that your legs are likely to be quite weak and I don't want you to hurt yourself if they give way."

"Ok." Ruth agreed irritably.

Jay vanished leaving Ruth re-organising the remaining drip whilst River neatly organised Ruth's get well soon cards and 'it's a girl' cards. Ellie watched the scene slightly amused by her sister-in-laws independence and her little sisters determination to be 'helpful' she missed the odd little family when she was at university.

"Your carriage awaits ma'am!" Jay smiled re-entering the room with a wheelchair in tow.

"I'd rather use my own legs." She glared slightly as River stepped back and stood next to Ellie as Ruth slowly pushed herself from the bed with Jay next to her half wanting to help half not wanting to face the wrath of his wife if he did.

He was relieved when she lent over and used his shoulder for support as she stood up. He knew from knowing her but also from the look on her face that she didn't want to use him for support, her need for independence as fierce as it always had been, she still hated to rely on anyone.

The strangle little family headed down the corridor Ruth seemed anxious, obviously irritable about how long she had been separated from her little girl. Jay was smiling broadly, he was excited about seeing her. River was as usual bouncing about, The fact Ellie was clasping her hand tightly the only reason she had not managed to bounce of down the corridor ahead.

River's excitement was dampened down as Ellie signalled with a finger on her lips that she needed to be quiet as they entered the neonatal ICU. River pretended to zip her lips shut before turning her attention to scanning her surroundings inquisitively.

Jay pushing Ruth entered first leading the way between the small incubators to the one containing the fifth member of the family.

"Here she is, Isabella Maryam Faldren." Jay beamed

"She's tiny!" River blurted out

"She's perfect!" Ellie beamed

Ruth was smiling blissfully only slightly listening to the others conversation about her daughter. Her attention focused on her daughter who was grasping her forefinger for dear life, her little eyes fixed on the top of her incubator.

"Can she have this?" River pulled out Flopsy, the toy rabbit she had owned since she was a baby from insider her coat. "I want her to have her."

Ruth turned around and smiled at the nine year old.

"Flopsy's yours love." Ruth told her "it's a lovely thought but you keep her, why don't you get Ellie to take you to the toy shop later and buy her a special toy of her own?"

"I don't mind!" River protested "Big sisters are supposed to share with their little sisters." She forced the small rabbit into the incubator. It was nearly as big as Isabella and the little baby seemed to have noticed the rabbits presence as she tried to reach and grab at the foreign object.

"That's lovely River, come here." Ruth said removing her arm and holding out to the nine year old who promptly wrapped her arms around her neck.

"She's getting visibly stronger by the day." Jay commented as he watched the baby reach out her little fingers towards the grubby rabbit.

"Can I?" Ellie asked gesturing towards the hole in the side of the incubator.

"Sure." Jay nodded encouragingly.

Ellie reached out a few fingers towards the small child. She held her breath as she touched the little girls cheek.

"Hey gorgeous, I think you must be the luckiest little girl alive." Ellie smiled "To have such wonderful parents."

Jay kissed Ruth's head as Ellie spoke.

"I like our family." River beamed "Can I hold her?"

"No sorry sweetie, she has to stay in the special incubator for a little bit longer." Ruth said sadly "But you can have a hold as soon as she comes out."

"Was I that small?" River asked Jay

"No you were a little bit bigger because you were born at the right time." Jay explained

"Why wasn't Isabella?" River asked

"When Ruth fell it made them have to deliver her early." Jay told her simply.

"Does it mean she might die like Nan?" River asked worriedly

"No, she's doing well she'll be fine." Jay reassured her confidently

"Good." River smiled "I like being a big sister."

They all fell silent watching the baby for a bit each thinking about their family and the little girl in front of them who had completed it and provided a glimmer of hope.


	14. Welcome Home

**The Broken Fairytale **

**Chapter 14 - Welcome home. **

"Two hours!" River giggled as Ruth sipped her strong black coffee.

"Hopefully sooner." Ruth winked as Jay approached.

"Who asked for the lasagne?" Jay asked setting down a tray on the table

Ruth rubbed her belly. She had applied a large bandage earlier that morning to hide the fact the wound had been busted open by accident the night before, her injury didn't bother her it had been healing well until she caught it on that damn book. Oh no she was more excited about today, it was the day her daughter was finally coming home.

Ellie had, had to go back to university and Leila who had been up to visit two days before and had to return to work.

Ruth had been out of hospital for a week. Isabella had been growing stronger quickly. She had been removed from the incubator the same day Ruth had been discharged and had been fine for the past week.

"I want Pizza!" River complained

"No." Ruth put her foot down "You have some lasagne now and I will think about letting you have at treat tonight ok?"

"Oh." River pulled a sulky face as Jay placed the lasagne down in front of her

"Stop pulling faces." Ruth scolded her motherly

"Sorry Mum." River sighed picking at her lasagne as Jay sniggered into his own cup of coffee.

"Problem?" Ruth asked as his coffee splattered the table.

"No." Jay spluttered wiping his mouth on his sleeve

Ruth raised her eyebrow and gave him that 'explain yourself or expect to feel my wrath' glare that would make him blurt out whatever he was hiding.

"Its just you being all responsible and Mumsy!" Jay laughed slightly as River stuffed a massive forkful of lasagne and chewed greedily.

"I am not!" Ruth protested "River don't put so much in at once!"

Ruth slapped her hand to her mouth and giggled as released what she had just said.

"Who would have thought it? Ruth Winters natural mother?"

"All down to this little one." Ruth looked over at river who smiled before licking the tomato sauce from around her mouth looking particularly innocent. "I was petrified of kids before I met River."

"What does petrefideded mean?" River asked innocently

"Very scared." Jay told her waving a hand

"How were scared of children?" River asked confused

"Because I didn't know how to talk to them or relate to them." Ruth explained truthfully. "My Childhood wasn't normal, it was horrible." She visibly shuddered at the thought of her own childhood. "I cant relate to children and I was never nice enough for them to want to be nice me."

"I was nice to you wasn't I?" River said a hint of worry in her voice.

"Oh yes." Ruth nodded smiling

"You were sad." River told Ruth "I don't like people to be sad."

"I don't like to be sad." Ruth replied with a sigh

"You are happy now." River stated "You smile. You never used to smile. Not properly."

"You should be a councillor" Ruth laughed "You are too good at reading emotions little one." She ruffled River's hair

"I wish everything would always be happy and no one would ever be sad or hurt." River told the pair of them between parent's

"We all do trouble." Jay jumped in

"Isabella is going to be a very happy baby!" River smiled excitedly

"How could she not be with a sister like you?" Ruth smiled

"Can we go get her yet?" River asked impatiently

"They are doing her final check up, you concentrate on your lunch." Ruth smiled taking a mouthful of her own lasagne.

They ate contentedly in a cheerful silence. Each family member as anxious and excited as the next. River eventually left a quarter of her lasagne and was bouncing around playing with Ruth's hair and tidying up things they had finished with from the table.

"Right some on lets go." Jay said as River put Ruth's plate on the rack.

River slipped her hands into Ruth and Jay's and finally fell silent as they headed upstairs to the familiar neonatal ICU.

It didn't take long.

After a brief conversation with the doctor's a nurse came over clutching a bundle of blankets. Which she held out to Ruth who nervously accepted them.

No words were necessary the silence said absolutely everything as the bundle was exchanged loud gurgling noses mixing with the beeping from the machines and incubators that Isabella had been confined to only a few days ago.

Ruth couldn't believe the small girl in her arms was hers. She had waited so long for this moment. She smiled. The most genuine smile in her entire life.

Click.

Jay blushed as he grinned from behind the digital camera.

"I'm sorry I couldn't resist." He laughed slightly waiting for Ruth to kill him.

"River' get over here and let your brother take a picture of all three of us." She suddenly beamed taking Jay by surprise. River bounced over to her side and Ruth bent down slightly so River could see her sister. She peered over into the blankets and smiled as she spotted Isabella's face.

Click.

Jay caught yet another moment on camera. Ruth didn't even bother to look up. Normally she was very anti-having her photo taken but right now? Right not she wanted every single moment recorded on camera. She wanted to be able to capture the feeling of holding her daughter in her arms for the first time and keep it forever.

Ruth suddenly found herself grabbing a nurse and asking the friend woman to take a picture of the entire family.

She took the camera and Jay came over wrapping an arm around Ruth and clasping River's shoulder. Each one of them smiling from ear to ear.

"Lets get her home!" Jay said excitedly as he took the camera back off the nurse.

The left the ward. Ruth still transfixed with the baby in her arms. Jay holding River's hand as she practically bounced down the corridor explaining how she was going to teach Isabella everything and do her hair and make up.

"She is a little young for that River." Ruth laughed as Jay looked horrified at the thought of his youngest sister being let loose on his daughter with any form of make up.

"When she's older I will though!" River said excitedly

"Well lets save those thoughts until then trouble because there is no way by daughter is becoming one of those babies who looks like an evil doll." Jay pulled a face at the thought

"Ok." River nodded sadly

They exited the hospital and climbed into the car Ruth reluctantly putting her daughter down in the brand new baby car seat and climbing into the front next to Jay.

The journey was silent bar the radio and a rather impromptu performance of Halo by Jay.

They reached the house and an anxious Ruth rushed out of the car to the back door and opened it pulled her daughter from the car seat and holding her close in a protective manner.

Jay smiled. He could believe how well Ruth was already doing, surprisingly she was a natural mum after holding their daughter for only a few minutes. He guessed it was partially because her own mother had been so rubbish and she was, as usual, determined to be the best.

Jay let Ruth lead the way into the house, pretending to fiddle with the stuff in the boot and winking to River as he asked her to carry Isabella's nappy bag.

Ruth unlocked the door one handily and let herself in heading straight through to the living room she pushed the door open and flicked on the light.

"Surprise!" several familiar voices yelled as the room was lit up and Ruth jumped back, scared for a second before a large smile crossed her face as she spotted Toby, Ellie, Leila, Maggie and Adam amongst them.

"Welcome Home Isabella!" Ellie grinned coming over to Ruth and looking into the blanket as Jay approached her from behind putting his arm around her shoulders.

Ruth looked around the smiling faces and felt happy tears rolling down her cheeks. Any problems melted into oblivion. Her friends, her true family was here, her daughter was in her arms, her surrogate daughter was grinning up to her innocently and Jay had his arm wrapped around her.

What she was feeling right now.

It was the definition of happy.

Yet it was also the definition of love.

It was more perfect that she could have ever dreamed of on those lonely nights in her tiny bedroom in the council flat before the beatings became so frequent and so violent that she simply gave up on people full stop.

Her pretend ideal family. The one she had created in her mind as a child couldn't even nearly match up with what she had now.

She smiled as Jay wiped away a stray tear with his thumb looking concerned as he gazed deeply into her eyes.

Perfect wasn't a good enough term to describe her little family.


End file.
